Remember when it seemed like all of a sudden everyone was concluding all kinds of personal exchanges with, “Have a nice day”? I never knew who first decided it was the thing to say –probably some motivational speaker trying to promote positivity. Regardless, it quickly became the most repeated admonition in the country. Sometimes cashiers and sales clerks would just blurt it out as you walked away, but then there were others who would make a real production out of it. They might lean forward with an exaggerated effort to secure eye contact, then with the kind of slow purposeful enunciation associated with the utterance of something profound you’d hear, “Now you have yourself a n-i-c-e day, okay?
Not a Sidestep for Everyone ~
The word, “nice” had a pragmatic function in my early years, too. If I happened to be fortunate enough to talk a girl into going to a drive-in movie with me, the one thing my folks always wanted to know was whether or not she was a “nice” girl. It was one of those
broad generalizations that covered a lot of territory and enabled the avoidance of questions that might lead into awkward specifics. Referring to my potential date as “nice” satisfied familial curiosity and ended the interrogation. Well… except for one uncle, who was prone to ask more direct questions like, “Has this girl actually seen you in the daylight?”
Nice Was Good ~
In any case, as the culture evolved a mental connection began to be formed. If certain practices, behaviors, or the people who employed them were thought of as “nice”, it meant that they were considered to be safe and socially acceptable. Nice things were pleasing.
Nice things were attractive. Traits that reinforced niceness were desirable, and much more likely to be seen as “good”. It isn’t surprising that the term infiltrated the general characterization of Christians, and/or “church-going folks”, and it was a welcome adjustment. Being identified as “nice people” who were all about love and goodness was so much more appealing than all that hellfire and brimstone stuff. Who could resist wanting to be identified in such a positive way? It was easy to miss seeing the subtle trap that it would lay in their path.
Without saying so directly, the practice of being nice to everyone became almost synonymous with expressing the unconditional love of Jesus. The unstated notion was that the more consistently one could project “niceness”, especially when confronted with difficult people and circumstances, the more successful one was in spreading the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Among the many problems in that approach was the underlying fear that came with it. If a self-identified Christian failed to be nice, it could invite accusations of being inconsiderate, oppositional, bigoted, insensitive, rude, or downright mean. At the very least, not being nice would certainly be seen as not Christlike.
A Time to Re-think the Term ~
Unfortunately, that approach severely undermined the mission of Christianity and served to disarm those that Jesus sent to represent Him and to deliver His message of redemption. All too often, some of the most effective tools God ever gave to combat the destructive influence of sin at every level began to be sacrificed on the altar of niceness. It’s time that we admit some things regarding this issue and take a second look at our desire to be seen as nice.
It doesn’t take a major research project to discover that things that appear “nice” are not always “good”, and conversely, things that are inherently “good” do not always seem nice.
There was a cruel and ruthless serial killer a couple of decades ago who preyed on unsuspecting young women. His name was Jeffrey Dahmer, and I was struck with one person’s assessment who had repeated contacts with him. She described him as seeming to be a “nice young man”. Sometimes overt “niceness” only disguises the bait on a lethal hook.
Another Underlying Problem ~
In the same way, things that appear nice are not always true, and things that are undeniably true don’t always come across as nice. For example, an uncomfortable truth about niceness is that it can obscure a self-centered quest for acceptance and approval. The desire to be considered “nice”, i.e., considerate, agreeable, sensitive, and pleasing, often serves as an altar upon which we sacrifice things like honesty, spiritual integrity, and worst of all, truth itself. So, given its potential for variant applications, should such an easily manipulated concept serve as a basis for what it means to be Christlike? As a matter of fact, Jesus Himself didn’t always sound winsome and congenial in His reactions, especially with those who were disingenuous. Here are just a few examples:
But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in. Matthew 23:13 (NKJV)
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. Therefore you will receive greater condemnation. Matthew 23:14 (NKJV)
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves. Matthew 23:15 (NKJV)
Serpents, brood of vipers! How can you escape the condemnation of hell? Matthew 23:33 (NKJV)
Wow!! … Statements like that certainly don’t convey the attitude and tone of niceness that has come to be required of Christians these days. What these exchanges do convey is Jesus’ unshakeable passion for truth and honesty regarding spiritual matters and His
determination not to allow the desire for public approval to rob that truth of its impact and its power. Putting shackles on a potentially transformational message and confining it within the boundaries of some vague and fluctuating concept of niceness in an effort to avoid personal criticism is nothing short of cowardice.
A Different Calling ~
We’re at a point in this land where the most acrimonious kinds of accusations and the most personally demeaning comments are published in every media platform every day. We’re certainly not suggesting that we have a spiritual mandate to be just as crude and abrasive as those who confront us, but neither are we called to overcome rudeness, vulgarity, and the wickedness associated with it by applying excessive niceness. We are called to overcome lies with truth, evil with genuine goodness, moral and ethical darkness with righteousness and genuine integrity, but in the process of doing that, many will condemn our approach no matter how much niceness we try to wrap around it.
The “gospel of nice” calls for embracing anything lest we be guilty of offending anyone, and the anti-Christian sentiment so prevalent in the culture today is a glaring exhibition of its abject failure to address the root cause of the unrest and violence surrounding us. The Gospel of Jesus Christ, on the other hand, confronts everyone with the truth about sin,
whether they find it offensive or not. The One who accepted the consequences of every repulsive act we could ever commit will redeem and embrace anyone who will reject their sin and receive Him. Unfortunately, there are those who will be offended by His message and may accuse the messenger of being mean-spirited, or worse. But may we not sacrifice truth and spiritual integrity in an effort to avoid criticism. The “gospel of nice” may not be offensive, but it’s totally powerless . . . and there’s no “good news” in it at all.
“TWEETABLES” ~ Click to Tweet & Share from the pull quotes below. Each quote links directly to this article through Twitter.
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- “The desire to be considered “nice”, i.e., considerate, agreeable, sensitive, and pleasing, often serves as an altar upon which we sacrifice things like honesty, spiritual integrity, and worst of all, truth itself.” @GallaghersPen (Click here to Tweet)
- “These exchanges convey Jesus’ unshakeable passion for truth and honesty regarding spiritual matters and His determination not to allow the desire for public approval to rob that truth of its impact and its power.” @GallaghersPen (Click here to Tweet)
- “Putting shackles on a potentially transformational message and confining it within the boundaries of some vague and fluctuating concept of niceness in an effort to avoid personal criticism is nothing short of cowardice.” @GallaghersPen (Click here to Tweet)
- “We are called to overcome lies with truth, evil with genuine goodness, moral and ethical darkness with righteousness and genuine integrity, but in the process of doing that, many will condemn our approach no matter how we apply niceness.” @GallaghersPen (Click here to Tweet)
- “The “gospel of nice” calls for embracing anything lest we be guilty of offending anyone, and the anti-Christian sentiment so prevalent in the culture today is a glaring exhibition of its abject failure to address the root cause of the unrest & violence surrounding us.” @GallaghersPen (Click here to Tweet)
- “May we not sacrifice truth and spiritual integrity in an effort to avoid criticism. The “gospel of nice” may not be offensive, but it’s totally powerless . . . and there’s no good news in it at all.” @GallaghersPen (Click here to Tweet)
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As always, another “keeper” Mr. Ron. I couldn’t but think as I started reading, “There’s a reason ‘Nice’ is not included in Galatians 5:22-23.” I too have heard the word “nice” take on a life of its own. Seems to me, some referred to Ted Bundy as a “nice boy” in the past. Niceness, as it has become used today, isn’t as much the compliment it started out to be is it? Like many words, Satan has subverted its original intent to make it more palatable and acceptable to all. While I’m not a big fan of snorting preachers of the past who ran up and down the aisle frightening small children with the perils of hell, I think they spoke more truth than many in the pulpits around our nation today. I have a dear brother-in-law-in-Christ (See how I fit that in there) in PA who shared this with me. “If you refused to spend time with God in this life, why would a loving God force you to spend eternity with Him? He is a just God who will give you your heart’s desire, even if that’s eternal separation from Him in hell.”
The time for speaking God’s truth in love is past due, especially inside the church-house. There’s far too many buildings with the name “Church” on the outside but no semblance of Christ’s body on the inside. If I may be so bold as to attempt to add to your list of Scripture references, one that stood out in my mind was Matthew 23:27 (KJV), “… oe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye are like unto whited sepulchres, which indeed appear beautiful outward, but are within full of dead men’s bones, and of all uncleanness.” I fear that on that Day, I will be held accountable for all the times that I held my tongue when I saw people attempting to sugar-coat the message of the gospel. It seems being “nice” became synonymous with being more
“acceptable.” The problem with that is that those who practice this are trying to be acceptable to the world’s standard of acceptability and not God’s.
Well-timed post sir. Am glad to see you’re back in the land of the Internet-infused. Although, there’s a blessing in not being constantly bombarded by all it brings. Perhaps that’s why we call it “God’s country” when we’re so far back in the sticks that Internet access is still considered a luxury item and not an entitlement. All my very best to your beautiful, savvy, and wisdom-filled Mrs. I wonder if her favorite aunt asked her, “So, how ugly is this boy, anyway?” LOL
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What a blessing–didn’t know if you’d see the Tuesday version or not, but so very happy to hear from you this morning, and once again so encouraged, though not surprised at all, to be shouting a heartfelt Amen! to your comments and to that insightful and appropriate Scriptural addition. Like you, I’m not in favor of some of the tactics that the old timers employed. They may have scared some kids (and maybe some adults, too) along the way, but the damage inflicted by pretending that sin is an outdated and irrelevant term has been far more devastating. Diane and I were talking this morning about how our commitment not to “offend” anybody has trained “Christians” to shrink back and never open our mouths about anything.
I don’t want to be one of those self-proclaimed “prophets” who seem to delight themselves in shouting out blanket condemnations about things that have no real spiritual value, like a guy I saw a couple of years ago. Diane and I were going to a concert with our kids (one of those things we probably wouldn’t have done unless they had invited us along 🙂 and there was a guy on a little soapbox. He was standing on it yelling about some Christian singer who he didn’t think was living a holy enough life and calling on people not to listen to his music or go to his concerts. What a waste of time and effort.
Sorry–got on my own soapbox, I guess. Anyhow, thank you so much for sending a Saturday morning to us on Tuesday. Hopefully, you didn’t run into the resubmission headache that plagued us on our last post prior to this one. So far, it looks like the time we had to invest in wrestling with WordPress to get it corrected at least paid off. Our prayers for you and your bride continue along with our gratitude for the encouragement and inspiration that you always send our way.
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